the meaning

this is an unedited pic, aka how pictures look before they go through vsco filters, cropping, and extensive lighting adjustments to keep with my theme.  I don't care how crappy this picture is, because the story is reason my blog title is the way it is.  so here goes.

march 12, 2015 marked the last day of my week long experience in nyc speaking on a panel, learning from others, and being completely empowered at the 59th CSW UN women conference.  it was one of the most incredible things I have ever done.  I grew up a lot that week.  I realized how much I was capable of.  I overcame my fear of public speaking + found something that I was truly passionate about: helping people.  over the week I heard countless stories of people who were broken, people who were afraid, people who were concerned for the human race.  we all came together that week to fix the broken, strengthen the afraid, and make solutions + positive change for humanity.  I was so humbled, so invigorated with the motivation to keep chasing opportunities that would improve my life as well as the lives of other, that I would never be the same.  if there was any threshold moment in my life, this was it.

that night, after a packed day of being out of the classroom and into the real world, doing crazy awesome things that I could not have imagined in a million years, we went up to the roof of the hotel.  as soon as we opened the door, the whole city was right in front of us.  I could practically touch the sky.  my friend, aliyah, and I just stood there amazed.  then she told me to open 'empire state of mind part ii' on my phone and play it as we climbed up. weird request, but I listened because she was a senior and I was a sophomore. but she knew what was up.  straddling over pipes, ducking bars, and tiptoeing up one of the sketchiest staircases I have seen, the wind was blowing, and our pencil dresses were not helping.  we looked up.

whenever my life seems like a whirling bowl of crap, this is the moment I go back to.  there are only a few moments I have felt this much joy in my life.  the kind of joy that makes my heart beat out of my chest, and I have to fight the urge to burst into a mushy puddle of tears.  this was the first.  this was the moment I knew God was real.  because if my 15 year old self was here, and not dreaming the entire time, this was a miracle.  I'm not a proselytizing kinda person.  I say what I believe and move on. I don't shove it down your throat or question what you believe, because when you find faith in something so much stronger + bigger than yourself, you can't help but share it.  I don't find a way to fit it into conversations or stories, it's just part of my life.  

so believe what you believe, take a chance, chase the opportunities, and find your rooftop moment.  an elderly, former-rockette friend of mine once said that if you live right, "you can get high on life."  I promise you, the view from the roof is the closest I came to heaven.