wanna hear some juicy gossip?!

HECK NO!  Gosh Dang!  today I was talking with my cousin and she was ranting a bit on her life, her issues, worries, doubts, insecurities . . . and she said to me "sorry, you're probably bored with hearing all of my crap".  I thought about it for a second and realized that I really wasn't. in my small, lame town people have nothing to do with their sad little lives so all they do is talk crap about other people's lives.  AND I HATE IT SO MUCH.  I would be lying if I didn't gossip a little too, but I would much rather hear you talk about you, than you talk about everyone else.  it's just kind of sad that people are so bored with their own lives that they have to pick apart others.  so please, complain about your life, admit that your week was rougher than it looked in the Insta photos, say that your situation feels pretty sucky, GET VULNERABLE - I WON'T JUDGE!  but don't you dare rip apart someone else's life to avoid confronting your own.  ugh.  smh for gossip.

I love chatting with her, because she's not afraid to be honest.  she's not afraid to say "I hate my life + I want to change".  being real is so important, and people who truly care about you want to know what's going on.  they don't what to know what you can show by your social media pages. they want the REAL, Unedited, Unfiliter YOU!  

I hate to gossip, but I'm gonna talk about my cousin for a sec.  cuz she's the realest.  in our little coffeehouse chat today, she was expressing that her life was feeling empty.  she said she was lacking motivation, joy, peace . . . and the relationships in her life were getting toxic.  then, she looked at me and said, you seem happy with your life, like you generally enjoy being alive - how?  I told her maybe some of the best pieces of advice I had ever given in my life, so here's the juicy stuff:

1. cut the unnecessary crap out of your life.  I'm talking anything more than 30 minutes of social media per day, listening to music you don't like, spending time with people who piss your off . . . basically everything you don't need to do + does not bring you joy - LET IT GO.  guys, we have 24 hours in a day, 9ish we spend sleeping, 1.5 in a bathroom, how much do we actually spend LIVING?!  there's no room for excess crap.

2. make time spent in the physical presence of people meaningful.  I'm not a huge fan of text convos or watching TV when I'm with friends or family, because nothing beats real talk.  face to face.  I like to remember that anything that I can do by myself chilling in my room at the end of the night probably should not be done when I'm spending time with people.  example: one day my friends and I were hanging out together, and we got through probably more than 5 episodes of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. (which is a great show don't get me wrong) but I was like wtf is this really all we're going to do today?? so I got up and walked out to sit on her patio.  this was one of the first times I intentionally chose to spend my day in a more meaningful way.  after a little bit, some of them came outside and asked me if something was wrong, and I just said that I would rather not spend a good day with nice weather inside watching TV in silence.  you don't have to put yourself in a situation that makes you bored or annoyed or takes away from your day because you think it's rude to walk away.  it's not rude unless you make a big deal about it.  there's nothing wrong with doing what makes you happy.

3. pour your life into a purpose. don't concentrate it into one thing, because if that one thing fails, you'll have to completely start over.  develop multiple interests, and dedicate more energy into those few things that bring you joy.  when I was going through a rough time in my life, I poured my heart into three main ideas: faith, music, and service.  as I focused on these, I started to figure out what made me excited about life.  I was growing, being productive, and finding ways to live a more meaningful + happy life.

4. have courage.  change, chasing opportunities, branching out -- it's all pretty freaking scary.  it might be hard to imagine now since I'm all about sitting on the edge of rooftops, exploring abandoned places, publicly voicing my opinions, doing things that bring me maybe too close to death, and adrenaline rushes . . . but not too long ago, I was living in constant fear.  I felt like I wasn't smart or strong or brave enough for anything.  then, I made a vow to myself to say YES.  to everyone once in a lifetime, new, foreign, slightly stupid chance I didn't give myself time to think through it and talk myself out of it.  I just said YES, and this alone may be one of the most life altering things a person can do.

5. find your passion.  my cousin asked me what mine was, and without a second to spare I said "helping others".  if you're in for a little pep talk please listen to Alan Watts, specifically, If Money Were No Object.  but really think about it, if you threw out everything the world defines as successful (paycheck, house, car, spouse, popularity) and decided what would make YOU most happy, what would you spend the rest of your life doing?  if you're like my cousin and are still trying to figure that out, it's totally okay!  the important thing is that you ponder over it, and find the thing that you want your life to be about.  once you know and purposefully live in a way that coincides with your passion, your life will be so much richer in ways that money could never buy.

so, take the crap out, spend time meaningfully, go whole heart, be courageous, and define your passion.  give more craps about your life + keep your nose out of theirs.