one year later

I swear I posted more recently than November???? no way. yes, I'm sorry, I forget and procrastinate but we still Gucci. ok ok. this definitely isn't going to be a review of everything that has happened since my last post, because that was way too long ago and I've since forgotten that span of time. this will also not be a new year new me post, because that topic has been covered on two of my blogs: forthebros.wordpress.com and thewordupward.wordpress.com. so check those links out if you haven't made your New Years goals yet and need some ideas.

but this post is going to be a review of what I've learned in life up to this point, because while this is not my spiritual blog, this is my major life moments blog and today happens to be the anniversary of my baptism date! so dope, right???!!! as cheesy as it sounds, Jesus was the best thing that has happened to my life. thinking about who I was before I started to have faith, the person I was during my two and a half years of learning about the church, and even just a year ago when I decided to take upon me His name, I have changed SO. Frickin. MUCH. This is straight up asiago, but I can barely remember being that negative, sad, angsty, sadistic (maybe not to that extreme) prick I was circa 2012. sure, I'm no expert in theology and am by no means the perfect example of a Christian, but if following Christ has helped me and improved my life in any way, it is because of these things I have learned to do from examples in Church.

1. Stand up for yourself & be able to back up all your opinions/beliefs. - There are always going to be people who disagree with you. Everyone hopes for things to go a certain way, and sometimes that involves them trying to change your beliefs or values. A major challenge of being a disciple of Christ is remembering that I represent something bigger than myself. In my thoughts, words, and actions I have learned to stay true to myself. More than that, I have to show that I'm doing something that I know is good and know is meaningful to me. Without my own conviction, I can't defend how I choose to live. Example: when people ask me to drink with them, I used to be like 'I mean I could do this & a little won't hurt & it seems like y'all are having fun so maybe I kind of want to' but now I'm like 'nah, I'm good, I don't need to drink to have fun, and it also actually just tastes like rubbing alcohol so no thanks.' it's a work in progress, because sometimes I do have the mindset of letting my guard down won't hurt. but as I've become more comfortable saying no, discovering for myself what I believe, and learning more about what I'm all about, I've had a greater sense of confidence.

2. Surround yourself with people who uplift you. - Life is less about where you are and more about who you're with. People make the experience. I've traveled across the country multiple times in the past year, and my favorite moments were spent with people who were positive, energetic, and encouraged me to live the life that I wanted to live. they accepted me and helped me to stay true to myself and not conform, because the world kind of makes us feel like play-doh sometimes.

3. You are more capable than you think you are. - As I've been called to different roles, took on a few jobs, added a few too many commitments to my schedule, I've felt really overwhelmed at points. a lot of the time, I look at my schedule as it fills my entire screen and think 'fuck, I bit off way more than I can chew, and I'm not competent enough to do all the things I want to do, even the things I need to do'. but every time I think that, I remember when I said that about something a few weeks ago and realized the thing I worried about then, the struggle I was facing, doesn't even cross my mind anymore. bad things pass, hard things pass. one day you'll look back, and that big deal will be a speck. you can do hard things. you just need to take a step back to see the full picture.

4. It's ok to fall apart as long as you don't let your whole life fall with it. - A lot of people have told me that I seem to have all my shit together, and let me tell you 'yeah, it's in a pile I like to call a load of crap.' someone told me the other day, that when you first talk to someone, you're only going to get the highlights of their life. no one is going to load on all their garbage at once, so you'll never know how much they're actually struggling. someone is always looking at you thinking, 'I wish I could have my life together like that; I wish I was like them.' so to all the people who are looking at me, truth is, I really have no idea what's going on with my life. there's definitely God's hand in it if I'm still alive despite my stupidity, but I'm stressed, my diet is only ok when you see me (I had a family sized bag of tortilla chips for dinner and the next morning I had a cookie for breakfast) , I haven't done laundry in 4 weeks, you can't see the table part of my desk, the club I started is failing, and sometimes I have a mental breakdown after hanging out with people I don't know very well. but my grades are fine, I volunteer at homeless shelter every week, and I smile when I sing hymns. I make a HUGE effort to show people that just because some things aren't going my way doesn't mean I have to let things I control suffer. you can't keep the cup full all the time, but you can keep it from being empty.

5. There is a reason for everything. - Whenever life goes to shit, I chalk it up to a learning experience. Sometimes, that's good enough for me. I don't think you could ever waste a moment, because we either enjoy it or we learn from it. I think a year from now, I'll have a more interesting story for this one, but for now I'm just gonna leave this year #WAvsUT (where will I go?!)

6. The happy life happens when you decide it does. - It would be really stupid to think happiness is found through one thing, but still people spend all their lives chasing higher paying jobs, bigger houses, fame, the next big thing . . . and then it's too late and they realize that happiness is something they could've had any time they wanted. people, we choose the life we live. as Thomas S. Monson said, "we do not find the happy life; we make it." we may not get to choose if the earthquake hits home, or who breaks our hearts, or if we get the gig. but we do get to choose what we do after that. we can choose to keep trying, to search for something bigger or better, to make life more valuable.

7. Build meaningful connections with people. - People will inevitably leave, and no one gets to choose how long someone will be in their lives. so when we interact with people, we have the ability and the duty to leave them better than we found them. there's enough unnecessary disaster in the world, and we don't need to be part of it. you don't have to leave them with a powerful TED talk, but at least be a decent person. ask them what they like to do, get to know why they are doing what they are doing. Taxi drive talk. it's the best.

8. You'll never regret living in the moment. - The best memories are the ones you were 100% there for. Eternal life is such a long time, but if you never choose to be in the present, you'll miss all of it. it's so easy to get distracted by the world with the flashing screens and big neon signs, but control your ADHD (I get it, I struggle with that every day) and focus on what you're doing. it's a more effective life, a more memorable life, and a life where you'll be able to see more of the miracles that were made for you.

9. Whatever you do, do it to your best ability. - My friend Saira and I were talking the other day, and I was like 'wow I feel like if I put all this work into something that doesn't turn out well it'll all be for nothing'. and she was like, 'dude, karma. if you do something, don't skimp 'cause hard work and a good faith effort are always rewarded in the end.' and I was like, 'dude, U RIGHT.' and she was like, 'no shit Sherlock.' just kidding. that's not the real conversation it was much more smart college girl and less surfer dude at 3am.

10. Do good; it'll make you feel better. - Jesus was the ultimate example of this. He saw the cruel and hateful world, and was so heart broken. but He sat and ate with and served the lowest of the low. And He had so much love and joy for everyone, because He wasn't looking at Himself going, 'the world is so mean to me, my life is so hard.' He was good to people and turned outward, because He was living this life for God. lose yourself to the good of the world around you. you'll find that someone always has it worse than you, and you've been given a lot of blessing so that you can also give to those in need.

11. Make the most of what you're given. - "life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get" Forest Gump was WOKE. when life gives you lemons, make that hippie concoction (lemon juice, hot water, honey, cinnamon, turmeric, coconut oil, cayenne pepper, nutmeg) and cure someone's cold! reoccurring theme of my life: you have agency! choose the life you live. choose to be happy. choose to go forward with grace.

12. Sacrifice something less for something more. - Being a Christian or a good person in general is not the easier life, but it's the better life. every day I'm grateful that I don't drink coffee because it tastes disgusting anyways and I don't have any of those annoying side effects. I'm grateful that I live a pure life, so that when I get married my husband and I can be completely faithful to each other. I'm grateful that work my ass off 6 days a week so that on Sunday, I can chill and not worry about last minute cramming. whenever God asks us for a little, he gives us everything back in blessings x100000. when your intentions are good and your heart is in the right place, giving up small and simple things leads to so much more than we can imagine.

12 things for 12 months of my life made new. it's probably a lil jumbled because I'm tired but you get it.