psyched

college got me feelin' some type of way... that way is stressed about nothing, completely busy yet unaccomplished, and wanting food but never hungry.

but one really cool thing is that I actually feel like I am learning something for once (maybe being dramatic) in my 14 years of education. I'm finishing up my psych class right now and I feel more mind-blown every day. it makes me reflect a lot and sometimes I feel more insane than [I hope] I am but I absolutely love it. and I'm absolutely sure I will never be a psychologist or psychiatrist.

however, it has opened my eyes to a lot of things:

1. my parents are seriously the best, like every psychological thing you can do to raise a decent human being - they did it.

2. mental health is real & I'm not crazy I'm just like a lot people in the world who can't help it but can do what they can to take care of themselves

3. childhood is so important and basically shapes everything

4. learning is important because once we connect the dots on what things in our pass are affecting our future, we have the ability to change!

there's a lot more but I'm taking a study break and I don't have time to say everything now, but maybe later I'll tell you more.

all this got me thinking about how I've changed since I moved out to Seattle. one thing stuck out. the impact that homelessness has on me.

when I was little, I was told to not go near homeless people. I was actually conditioned to be afraid of them because they live on the streets and they wear a lot of layers & sometimes they smell and they ask for money or food on the street instead of going into restaurants. it's so weird that we're taught that poor people or people with nothing are scary/criminals. honestly, it should be the other way around; if anything we should fear rich people... like how are they wearing nice suits all day and sitting pretty in big houses??? that's a little sketchy... anyways, since coming here I started volunteering at a homeless shelter, one of my favorite places in Seattle and I'm definitely don't have an irrational fear of the homeless anymore. they're good people who've had hard times. they deserve to be treated like anyone else and receive respect for how they act like anyone else.

I'm human so I'm still learning, but I'm becoming less judgmental.. that is my least favorite characteristic about my childhood self. If I could turn back time I would go back and slap myself for every judgey comment/thought/gossip that ever came from me. well now I know that we miss out the most on the chances we don't give others.

there's my little thought for the month.... now back to the books/stress run! 3 more days and I'm home freeeeee!