the best of 2018

This morning I woke up in a panic (as I often do) because today we leave la Republica Dominicana. Something about an end to an adventure makes my heart hurt a little. I like to do shit and not doing anything makes me sad and anxious, so thankfully I’ll be back on a plane tomorrow headed to the land of beer and cheese. *Back to my morning panic* I laid awake at 5am staring at the ceiling of my bunk with the sunrise slowly peeking through the window. My mind was racing, but I only had one thought: what now? There are 3 days left of 2018, so this is about the time every year where I take a good long look at my life. 2018 was full of good shit, bad shit, but overall it was THE Shit. The feeling I have at the end of every year and every day where I just stop and reflect is overwhelming gratitude. There’s a whole lot of imperfection going on, but that’s how experiences and memories are gained and for that I could not be more thankful. To commemorate the goodness of this year in the most cliché way possible, this is my list of the best 12 moments of 2018.

12.Summers in Seattle will be something I can never forget, especially rooftop dinners. I will remember the many meals we’ve shared at Bishop & Delila’s and Daniel’s surrounded by our friends that felt like family. We cooked together, talked about life, expressed our gratitude for the Gospel bringing amazing things into our lives, and exploring the depths of life until the early morning -- forgetting that we all had very different lives we would return to the next day.

11.Road tripping for spring break will go down in the books. The evergreens of Washington, crystal blue lakes of Idaho, and when the sky and mountains blend together in Montana all give me the feels. They are some of the most beautiful states in the US. While Kristina and I decided that Canada was amazing, and that we would totally be down to visit Banff and Vancouver again, I realized how proud I was to be an American when tears welled up in my eyes as the border patrol officer at the peace pass said, “welcome home.”

10.I love trying new things and constantly bouncing from place to place, but there is something special about being a local and becoming a regular. When I started volunteering at Bread of Life, I didn’t expect much. I wasn’t really looking to make friends build deep ties, but an hour a week can make a big difference. Not only did I feel a lot more comfortable with homeless people since coming there, but I felt this sense of home in Seattle. These people were my people, and I got to be with them and help them.

9.Teaching swim lessons to adults was a pretty rad experience. The difference between beginners who are adults versus children is that kids don’t really care. They learn to swim because their parents sign them up. Adult come because they are excited and afraid and they just want to learn. There was something so raw and vulnerable about watching them learn to trust their bodies and to trust the water. Back floats are an incredible trust exercise for any beginning swimmer, but once they learn it, it’s an extracorporeal feeling and as an instructor I can see it on their face.

8.The whole spontaneous two-week backpacking trip to Europe with Chelsea was a highlight in and of itself, but what really made the difference was Ann and Jim. We booked the flight from London to Belfast on FlyBe, an airline that we had never heard of and I was sure it was a scam but I bought the tickets because after all, this was the adventure of a lifetime. The flight was real, everything went smoothly and then we were supposed to meet a complete stranger who agreed to freely take us into her home for the next few days. I was so nervous. In this day and age, it’s so hard to trust, but Chelsea trusted me and I trusted Naomi (a stranger who offered her parents’ house for us to stay in). When we walked out of the airport, I saw Ann. She was wearing a raincoat and the brightest smile, holding up a sign that said “Tien and Chelsea”. We ran towards each other and hugged the best hug I had ever given to and received by a stranger. For the next few days, she and Jim told us about their lives, showed us their country, and taught me what it was to love people just because we can.

7.I need to mention Bishop and Delila more than once, because I consider them to be family. On Labor Day, Bishop took some of us out on the boat and we tubed from Seattle to Redmond. That day was all hype. I couldn’t stop smiling and laughing. Happiness = reality – expectations, and I couldn’t believe how good it felt to be on the water.

6.Every exam week (if not more often) I run to Gasworks park to reduce my stress. Sometimes you have to lose your breath to find your heartbeat. When I look over the water to see the beautiful city in front of me shimmering with office lights and moving cars, I can’t help but feel overwhelming gratitude for what I have. Not many people get the chance to live their dream. Getting to see the iconic view from the park gave me so much hope and energy to do hard things. Whatever challenge the day had was part of this dream I was working hard for. Deciding to take the risk to move here was a tough decision to make, but it ultimately came down to the thought that I would regret it more if I never took my shot. Sometimes, we just need to get out and do it. Gasworks reminded me that I did it.

5.At 11pm on the night before my 19thbirthday, Ana, Emily, Jessica, Mitch, and I had just finished another exquisite meal at our favorite Café Presse. We were talking and trying to figure out what the best way to celebrate my special day would be. I love the water. I have a theory that the ocean can cure anything, so we drove to Golden Gardens Park. We told Mitch to turn around and we all stripped then ran into the freezing cold Puget Sound. We were laughing uncontrollably, and the water awoke the little kids we truly are. Skinny dipping in the ocean is the feeling of being alive.

4. It was hard to narrow down one experience, so this is dedicated to the formation of my friendship with Ana. With our seven-year age gap, it seemed unlikely that we would have much in common, but really the only thing we don’t have in common is the types of music we know. Ana keeps me in check; she’s the realest person I’ve ever met and her heart is in line with Christ’s. She doesn’t judge and she goes out of her way to help others no matter how inconvenient it may be. She is a beacon. I can’t imagine Seattle without her, so in a way it’s kind of amazing that we’re both going to Utah now.

3.During spring break, I went to go visit Mai and it reaffirmed that I made the right choice coming to Seattle. However, I also realized that no matter where I go or what I do, the Gospel needs to be the center of it all. We got to perform proxy baptisms with Spencer for Ong Ba Ngoi. My heart was beating so fast when grandma’s name was called, and when grandpa was baptized I was in tears. Moments like these make me realize how much I need Christ in my life. Without Him, these raw and humbling experiences wouldn’t be possible.

2.I was nervous to take people’s vitals at the mobile clinics in la Vega. No one wanted to take blood glucose because we were all afraid to hurt them when we drew blood. I would warn them, “solamente es una pequena picada”, and they would ask “con amor por favor” or “ten cuidado mi amor”. When they did, I felt it was my duty to care for them with the most love I could. I think that’s how work, medicine, and life are supposed to be. Learning how to live out of love is something that has been dear to me this year.

1.Some of the best things in life are the moments of pain. In these times when you feel the most and you feel it so deeply, you realize how much something means to you. Telling my friends that I was leaving Seattle that November night in the DM was one of the hardest things I had ever done. I prepared from the beginning of that week to say it by breaking the news to random people that I didn’t care too much about. I had told people in order of increasing value to me pretty much the whole week. By the end of the week, I had no tears left. For a second, I thought it would be easy. As soon as I said it, Chelsea, Maddy, and Sairandri didn’t react greatly; whether that was because it hadn’t hit them or because they didn’t want to make things worse I don’t know. Maybe a combination of both. But Angel cried, then I cried, and we all hugged each other and just cried. I could make a whole other list about why I love this bunch of human beings so much. They are the most powerful, compassionate, encouraging, brilliant, and beautiful group of women I have ever known. These are the people I know will be with me for a lifetime.

There are a million more wonderful things about 2018, and I don’t know how 2019 could top it, but I swear some way somehow each year is better than the last. How am I so lucky to have something that is so hard to say goodbye to.